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I remember so clearly the first time that some of the older people in my life died. First were my grandparents, who died over a seven year span. Although I knew I would miss them, that was the main impact for me. It wasn't until I was older that the death of those my parents' age and above started to have impact.
Percy and Paul were two of the stalwarts at Eastwood Church. When we started at the church, they were both already in their eighties. We quickly came to value their wisdom and their solid support. Paul was literally father and grandfather to many in the congregation. Percy was everyone's "uncle." When Paul died at age 96, I was devastated. It felt like one of the pillars of my world was gone. The world suddenly felt less safe without his presence. When Percy died several years later, again in his late 90s, I felt the same way. These were men who kept my life and the church somehow "safe."
I started to realize that now I was on my own in some ways. I would have to draw on my accumulated wisdom in various roles. Yes, there were still older people of whom I could ask advice, but these two men really mattered.
One of the sureties of living on is that you will experience the deaths of people on whom you leaned. My Mom died suddenly and a year later, we got news of the death of my oldest "brother", a Nigerian man, Karagama. My brother-in-law died two years ago. As much as my faith knows that they are still alive, I can't go to them for advice or for relationship any more.
Yesterday, I received news that my "Aunt Mildred" had died. Aunt Mildred and Uncle John were with my parents on the mission field. All other missionaries were aunt and uncle to us. But Uncle John and Aunt Mildred were special because they were also my parents' best friends. Relationships continued. The loss of Uncle John to cancer was a sad time. When I was very ill several years ago, Aunt Mildred was the one who understood best what I was going through, and her support kept me going emotionally.
I was so fortunate to see her just a few weeks ago, to give her that hug and re-affirm the love we shared. But when I heard of her death, I felt another pillar go down.
Now I see that we are being built as we grow beside them, and slowly, we are the pillars of our communities. Or maybe we will be when we are older and wiser!
Who are the pillars in your life, who have fallen, or who still keep you going? |
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